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Thursday, August 31, 2006

yucks.. politics

well actually day started off quite fine and all... but in the middle quite sian... sigh... cos felt as if I got backstabbed... super sian... and I think I knw who is that person... sigh.. politics... to hell with it la... why muz some ppl be so free to engage in such things? I'm sure you have something better to do than all these right? One person start others must continue... so sickening... super pissed off... >.<

I'm sorry dear dear... sigh... but please do not feel you have gotten me into trouble or anythg okie! cos it really has nothing to do with you... sigh...

I don like politics! I just want to do my own stuff and do my own work! So please just get off my back!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

great ending to the day...

well, though I had a super bad start to the day... it all ended well... 5yi's thing more and less settled le... den my mood also much better le... hee.. =p

well, why did it end well? Main reason is of cos my dear dear (what else??!!!)! hee... He is one person who always manages to cheer me up in any situations.. hee... as long as it is not related to him... keke.. as in my sadness... even if cos of him, he will still be able to cheer me.. just that it will take a slightly longer time lah... hee... i really cant bear to stay angry or upset at my dear dear for too long.. i also dont like to give him black face for very long too... hee... =p

well, my dear dear came to look for me at aunt stall after his bball mtg in school.. he told me a piece of news! He has stepped down as the chairperson of the bball subclub of nus!!! Frankly, I am quite happy to hear this pc of news.. simply because I know that dear dear is realy very busy already... with his tuition and other FY stuff and well, recently me as well *blushes*.... so stepping down is something that he really hopes to... and yeah.. now he has finally stepped down... taking up the post of an advisor instead... well, he has to handhold the new chairperson of cos... and I think it is reasonable and responsible of him to do that... well, at least I think and I hope he will not be so stressed le.. especially over his bball thingy... His bball stuff seems endless at times... sigh.. and he is always so stressed and worn out over it... =( worse is the other time where we kinda quarrelled over smethg related to that... =( =( =(

Hope that now he has let go of one of the things that he hopes to, he would be more relieved and less stressed... however, donno why, I keep having this nagging feeling as to whether dear is really happy to step down or not... Seriously, I have no idea why I feel this way... sigh... Just felt he doesnt seem to be totally really happy... cos when he was at my auntie's place, he looked so tired and distracted... seemed to have millions of things on his mind... sigh... asked him, he kept saying nothing... *shrugs* I really have no idea... Sometimes I wish I have the ability to read one's mind... =(

Well, anyway after helping out at aunt's place, we went back to my house... well, dear dear is just really sweet to come by auntie's place and den come to my house... hee... we had dinner (or rather supper!) at my house... dear dear cooked... hee... though simple fare, I enjoyed myself totally... cos it's dinner with dear dear at home! ^.^ everything to rejoice abt... keke... (",)

so yeah.. though I did not really have a great beginning... all turns out well in the end... Yay!!! I am soooo happy! kekeke... thanks dear for always brightening up my day... ^.^

******************************************
Hmm... donno why I have this nagging worry in my mind.. I always feel that the more I love, the less I get from the other party... The more I put in, the more I am taken for granted (in some sense)... I really do not understand myself.. Is it cos I am expecting too much? Why do I feel like I am not being loved as much? sigh... =/ I really wish I don have this thoughts...
Is it really true that this happens? I have no answer to this... i hope not... I cannot be sure at all... sigh... Am I expecting too much? Why am I thinking this way? It is not that I expect others to give out more than me or the same amount as me... cos I knw I am the kind who will love my other half more and more deeply as time passes... and the more I cant bear to let go... I just don want to be taken for a fool or taken for granted... I knw that love is often not fair.. But I guess I just dont want to be not loved at all...
*shrugs* I really do not understand myself at all at times.... I am so hard to please... =(

bad start to the day.. =(

well.. got a bad start today... so sian... it's all 5yi's things loh... sigh.. also donno why like this... also donno who is in the wrong or right... gt me all flustered out and stressed in the morning... cried momentarily... think was complaining to dear till too stressed le... sigh... thank god dear was there with me, though not physically but at least hearing his voice soothed me... kept me from losing everything... anyway it is a long story.. shall not write down lah... sigh... so i had to rush down to help my auntie for a while... feel so hot and sticky.. even now.. sigh...

anyway came to school and had to go through a boring meeting... so many changes... =/ nothing to say...

den gt one parent called to tell me smethg... den still dare say child gt phobia of me... super bullshit loh... child only scared cos she nvr do work... when nothing is on, she dares to just come and talk to me and all loh... so i say, it is just bull when she says kid gt phobia! =/ please loh, if ur child nvr do work properly cos u all dote on her this way, den too bad lah... hmph... =p

anyway hope things are beta.. im so sian le... sigh... having a headache now... sian diao... =(

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

At Dear Dear's desk...

wanna guess where am i now???I'm in Dear's Sch at her desk now...haha...Today is my free day!!!no nd to go to sch at all...haha...shiok shiok...So decided to come to dear's sch to paly bball...hee...Just finished playing basketball w her collegues n some primary sch kids...Its realli fun to play w the kids, sure win one *evil laughter* muahaha...but have to be careful cos u dun wan to hurt them oso...reached the sch at ard 330pm where dear was at the gate waiting for me...b4 i went for tthe bball session, she passed me some siew mai n her water bottle...hee...so sweet n thoughful lah...*one of my favourite food is siew mai* stopped playing at ard 530pm n dear is still in class n ending onli at 620pm...so meanwhile slacking at her desk, enjoying air con n reading some of my notes...
Yest nite after my meeting at yew tee, i went to dear's hse to look for her...reached her hse at ard 1030pm as the meeting ended veri late...though tired but still went to her hse n i glad i went...hee...she has bought some bread waiting for me to come as i might be hungry n she cut an orange for me...*first time a gal actually did tt for me lah!!!* i felt so fortunate to have dear dear lah...she realli shower me w all her care n love tt she can ever give...just wanna tell u my dear, thanks for u being in my life n for yr everything...*hugZzz*

hee... fun fun..

hehe... I was looking forward to the afternoon today cos dear dear was coming down to my school to play bball with the bball team... hee... den while anticipating his arrival, I bought him some siew mai and some crab or prawn claws... hee... cos i knw he like siew mai... den when he came, I brought him up to the staff room to get changed and let him eat some of the stuff... hee... really soo happy to see him.. then i had to go off le cos i needed to go for class... i came down to watch him play again during my break.. hehe... =p i like to watch dear dear play bball... always enjoy de... ^.^

den after school, dear dear stayed with me in school till 8.30pm... i did my work and he waited for me... hehe... while he did his stuff lah... like to have his company in the midst of doing my work... keke... =) den after that, we went to 5yi's place to buy some fruits home to eat... and den we went to the coffeeshop near my house to tabao dinner home to eat... hehe... fun fun fun!!! =p then after that we watched perfect storm.. hee... den dear dear had to go home le... sigh... as always.. so cant bear to see him go off leh... so sad... wished time could come to a standstill...

really enjoy my day... hehe...

P.S. dear dear, always willing to cut oranges for you okie.. anytime as long as u want... hehe.. muackz.. tonight still have mangosteens rite? hee... =p

fine day...

hee.. It's Monday! So fast.. started the morning off real great with dear dear buying breakfast over for me again!!! haha.. thanks dear.. u r de best! *Mmmuackzzz!*

work was okay.. except for some irritants here and there lah.. but cant be helped.. sigh..

hee.. dear dear just actually... he came over after his mtg... sweet right? that is my dear dear loh.. and that is precisely why I love him so much.. keke.. *grinz* ^.^ always enjoy seeing him.. hee.. he will be coming over tmr to play bball with the bball team.. haha.. yeah!!! yeah!!!

Monday, August 21, 2006

dear dear's birthday soon...

Well, in a month's time, it will be my darling dear dear's birthday... I seriously have no idea wad to get for him.. sigh.. *thinking thinking* dear, knw le muz tell me okie! hee..~

when dear dear asked me the same question, I told him I wanted him to be with me, stay by my side and be a happy dear dear... hee... really leh.. that is all i want.. simple rite? keke.. well, seriously, as long as the heart is there, I am really fine with anything dear dear... *muackz* hee... anyway it is a bit too early for him to start preparing for my prezzie leh.. but den i really cant think of wad to get from him le.. and timing is just ticking away.. hmm... =/


*think hard*

Sunday, August 20, 2006

time to slp...

Dear dear is on his way home now... really couldnt bear to see him go... =( starting to miss him le.. anyway time seems to just fly past today... saturday is gone... so fast... sigh... =/

anyway, we kinda slack away the day today.. hehe.. hmm... dear dear came to my house ard 2 plus.. actually was gg to ktv.. but den i felt it was kinda expensive and so decided against it... keke... in the end, we nuan-ed at home till ard 4 plus... hee.. dear dear helped me to pack my crsytals and all.. haha.. poor dear dear.... den we went to west mall to watch movie..

oh, when we reached WM, we managed to catch abt 3 minutes of wilbur pan! keke.. quite cool la..~ lol~

anyway we watched break up... the show staring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaugh... not too bad.. quite nice to me, but dear don like it cos there were too much bickering and they played mind games after their breakup.. which he doesnt like.. and i don really like it as well la.. cos it is obvious they still love each other... but den they cant be together.. sigh sigh sigh... that is the sad part.. hee.. but anyway muz learn from the movie.. cannot just quarrel like that and think that one party is right or wadever... muz learn to communicate with one another... keke... =)

den went back to my house to eat dinner and watch EPL.. keke... we bought curry chicken plus rice and bread... hee.. plus dear's coffe and my tea lah.. keke... nt bad lah.. quite nice... =p

hmm.. time seems to fly when dear and I are together having fun and enjoying ourselves.. nuan-ing included... oh well.. sigh... time to slp... ZZZzzzzzzz...

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Yesterday... continued

*continuation*

After leaving the crowd, we went to take 188... kinda talked it out on the way.. dear dear kept reassuring me that I was not useless and he really don wan me to put myself down and always put the blame on myself... well, seriously, I have an internal locus of control in this sense.. wrong things I tend to attribute to myself... and dear dear don like that... sorry! =0

well, then the situation became better... and though we were not totally back to our usual selves.. we were nearly there le... much happier than we were abt an hour ago... =) =) =)
hee.. then we went to Mac near my house for dinner... cos we din want to go far also.. den after dinner, we made our way to my house... hee.. so tht i can squeeze dear dear's blackheads and all! hahahaha... *evil laughter* found out that AXN was showing Identity! nice show... den I asked dear dear to watch... hee... a big twist at the back... hehehe... great show I think.. keke... =p den i also proceeded to do my job... keke... muahahah... somehow, dear dear managed to kinda fall asleep time to time in the midst of his face being attacked! oopsies... =p

dear dear and I started to talk in the middle of the night... started to talk abt all that happened and what we must do and all... kinda thrash things out... but nicely.. den i also told dear what I thought too... Sometimes, I just hate to feel so useless abt being unable to help him... he seems to have so much stuff to do and so lil time yet he insists on spending free time with me... I don like him so tired out and stressed out... sigh... we talked abt everything... big and small... what i thought, what he thought... what i felt.. what he felt... but all in a peaceful way...

all i want is to be able to help u when i can... alleviate whatever is possible.. and let u be happy... i just hope u can be happy, dear... just like u like the cheerful dear, same here for me... we always feel what each other feel... isnt it? =)

then suddenly dear dear asked me a qns... What would I do if one day he is really angry? ... I was stumped... lost for words... I told him I would go and find him... and I asked him what he would do if he really is very angry... he said he would either slp the night away or go for a swim.. I was really sad... I knew there would be this day where my bad temper and stubborness would lead to him being super angry... i asked dear dear to muz forgive me no matter how angry he was.. he said he would but i muz let him cool down first... somehow, my whole heart sank... really sank.. and tears just flowed out uncontrollably... think its one of the worse dear dear has seen... =( I was so scared... so scared that he would just shut himself away and I cant find him at all... I did not want that to happen.. I don want to not be able to find him at all.. i was seriously gripped by fear... I only managed to ask dear den where am I supposed to find him? I really din knw.. I felt so helpless... =( think i stunned dear... and made him real sad as well... *sorry my dear... really sorry.. i was really just very frightened*

I really hope I can try to control my temper.. sigh.. really wont want to make dear dear so angry.. just want to live a blissful and happy life with dear dear...

but it was all sweetness after that.. and I am happy.. =) its a really nice feeling to be with dear dear... to be in his arms... though both of us were tired le, we still kept ourselves awake.. hee.. just to talk and enjoy the sweet moments.. Thanks dear...

Just want to let you knw, my dear... I'm really sorry for all the things I have done wrong.. I cant undo them now.. but I will try to improve okay.. I will not walk away from you darling.. really... I cant bear to seriously... Besides, how to walk away from someone who is a part of my life right.. =) I will always be ur listening ear.. my shoulder will always be there for you... and I will always be there to lend you a hand or give you a push... Morally, you will always have my support... I will be ur pillar of support for as long as you want dear dear... okay? Love you so so so much... Really do.. You are everything that matters to me... You matter a whole whole lot to me.. Muackz~ Rembr, you and I share a positive r/p --> ur happiness + ; mine will + as well.. vice-versa.. *winkz winkz*

Yesterday...

Had a super long day yesterday... comprises of both happiness and sadness.. both to limits..

din really had a great start to the day.. cos din slp well in the night cos din manage to settle stuff with dear dear.. sigh... just very sad and uncomfortable when nvr settle things... =\ went to school early in the morning... dear dear woke up at 7am specially to give me a call to see how am I.. but I gave him a kinda sian sian tone.. I'm so sorry dear... really din mean to.. but I simply cannot manage to laugh and talk to him when I am upset or unhappy... Acting and putting on a false front in front of dear is smethg that I totally suck at... I just cant do it... =( I am super good at hiding my feelings from everyone.. If I don wan ppl to knw I am unhappy, you can be quite sure they would not know.. but that is totally not possible with dear.. sigh.. dear dear called me during my break but I was in a rush and couldnt really talk to him.. den he sent me a msg saying that he cried so much the previous night when he saw wad I wrote in the blog... sigh... I was so upset... I wanted to cry but I could not as I had to go to tend to those kids... =(

den after that, went down to hill st area to buy some watches and crystals with Serene and Sophia... more or less settled down with dear dear... still couldnt really talk to him in a very happy tone but at least I was much beta le... and hopefully dear was as well... hmm... altogether i bought 7 new watches le in 2 days! mind you... it is 2 days okie!~! no doubt they are not exp watches la.. but still.. haha.. but nm.. i enjoy myself... keke... and dear thinks the watches are not bad too... keke... =p den i bought some findings and all to make my earrings.. hee.. too bad dear not ard to help me choose... keke... but i tried to control myself.. but den i din buy crystals lah... think just one black one loh...

after that, i had to rush down to bt panjang for my tuition le... by den was quite late le.. sigh... actually wanted to go down earlier to watch dear dear play bball.. but in the end... sian... think he also very sian loh... sigh...

by the time i reached nus, it was ard 6 plus near 7 le... as i was walking to the courts, i met QL.. he looked super sian... think he had an arguement with A bah... according to dear dear... dear dear met me halfway... hee... so happy to see him... wanted to just hug him... but den ... hmm... a bit sweaty and all lah... haha... so nvr hug loh... keke... but still happy to see him.. hee~~ =) think that was happiest moment that day loh... But den dear dear hurt his leg le... even before i arrived... den gt this big bruise on his leg... i was so sad when i saw that.. but he insisted that he was fine and continued with his bball.. well, knwing how much this darling of mine loves bball, i let him continue lor.. even though i knew it might hurt at times.. and i was scared he might aggravate the bruise should he fall again.. sigh... oh, met KY aka dear dear's mum when I reached there.. haha.. her comment was ' she looks exactly like in the photo'! keke... =) and dear's reply was 'it is her wad!'... haha... so funny.. den she also said dear dear became fairer le... haha... to which CH comment was 'with me too long le, gt influenced and become fairer also!'... haha... actually i also donno leh... my mummy say dear dear quite dark leh.. anyway im fine with it lah... dark or fair.. keke...

hee... then dear dear gave me a card!!!! to say he was sorry... I read the card real slowly... every single word... hee.. *thanks dear! I really had a surprise... and it was really sweet of you my darling dear! smiles smiles smiles*

den another mishap happened again... dear dear gt hit in the face by the bball... *gasps in horror* and he gt a nosebleed... sigh... was so sad and worried when he gt a nosebleed.. i think i looked really nonchalant at that time... quite bo chup... but the truth is I was so worried loh! ahhhhh!!!! sigh... =( den tried to help dear dear stop his nose bleed... he was tilting his head backwards... from which I knw is definitely wrong... (Reason is cos the blood will flow backwards and it becomes a choking hazard! - just checked this out!) ... so i told him to tilt it forward instead and and apply some kinda pressure to near his bridge area... (Reason: arrest the bleeding on a vein in the nose and speed up clotting process) it would def take time.. but it will def stop the bleeding.. im quite sure of my method... was applying the pressure for dear and at the same time cleaning up for him... when YL shouted over to say that the position of his head was wrong.. den dear was like Huh? den how? who should he listen to?... =p well, i was quite adamant and indigant... so i told dear to stick to my method.. cos I was like quite sure... or rather i was 100% sure i was right... though i couldnt really explain lah... so dear dear guai guai listened to me loh.. keke... sigh... was really so upset lor... den i couldnt help but think that me coming here to early to see him play caused him to suffer all these injuries.. sigh... so sad... like a jinx kinda feeling.. =(

den when we were gg off for dinner, dear and I had a quarrel... over his bball club jacket stuff.. he was quite upset over the fact that he could have left out some orders.. and those were the regular bball players and his exco members... he was gg to give up his jacket to JJ too... =( then well, seeing him so stressed up and all.. and seeing some of them do disappointed, I want to try to help.. but in the end made things worse... cos i made dear dear super frustrated loh... and he simply just raised his voice at me again... sigh... =((( then i was quite upset loh... and dear tried to apologize and then explain things properly.. but i was already quite affected le... then he started to lament abt his bball stuff such as welcome tea... sigh.. i really donno how to help loh.. if i could, i would volunteer to go down and help him loh... i don mind taking ML that day to go down earlier just to help him loh... den actually i was quite upset at myself for not being able to help him alleviate his worries... n felt that i added on some more with stupid suggestions to make him angry... =( sigh...>.<

*seems like the both of us has some kinda chain effect one each other... we just cant bring out happiness if one is not happy... but if one manages to cheer up, usually the other will be able to as well.. hee.. but usu dear is the one who cheers me up... den i can make him smile even more.. keke*


then I told dear I wanted to go home.. and asked him to join his bball mates for dinner while I go home.. I really din want to go there with a black face.. and I knew my tears were on the way le.. and I really couldnt hold back much longer... but dear dear insisted on gg with me.. which i seriously don want... afterall, he only mts then for dinner in such a big grp like once a week and i don really want to deprive him of that loh... sigh... and i was kinda hoping that big grp could more or less cheer him up and all... but stubborn as my darling is.. he simply refused... den somehow it came to this extent where i really cannot control anymore le.. i told dear i really wanted to go home cos i wasnt feeling well... and he insisted on coming with me.. den i just started to walk away... actually when i was walking away, i really had this fear... that dear would really be pissed off and just turn n go away... but he din.. he controlled and he just told the bball peeps that we were gg off... I really felt so bad... sigh... but i also don wan tense up any mood at all... =( den dear tried to catch up with me till this extent that I think he really couldnt stand anymore... and he just stood there and asked if I really wanted to walk away from him... My heart just broke... cos his voice was jittery... I really din wan to walk away.. but i din knw wad to do at all.. sigh... nt that I don wan talk abt it or resolve it.. but i just felt it was my fault and what was needed is I cool off and find the courage to apologize to dear.. sigh... *sorry dear dear* I was really trying hard to fend off my tears while putting on a really nonchalant front.. it was so hard.. sigh...

*to be continued*

Friday, August 18, 2006

Dear, pls dun belittle yrself...

Seriously,i'm not angry...just feeling veri veri sad now...din on my phone cos i dunno wat to say n scare tt i gonna say the wrong stuffs again...recently my dear been telling me tt she felt shes fat n all, tt shes gaining more weight...she scare tt i wont wan her anymore when shes get fatter n fatter...told her a lot of times but tt i wont but still it has been bothering her...today her former teacher, mr chua, commented tt she has gained weight which realli made her veri down...she sms me today tt she dun wanna gain more weight for she scare she will look oversized when w me...it realli makes me felt sad...act think its me lah, think i'm too skinny le...been trying to eat more recently le...hiaz...not helping at all...i realli dun want Dear to keep thinking tt shes fat or anything...seriously i din think much abt it at all...it dun bother me at all...sometimes i felt veri sad when it seemed like my message tt i dun mind get across her...its like not as if i'm gd looking, tall, fit n muscular n all tt i can say tt shes not gd or wat...seriously i'm forunate to have u n not the other way round...i dun c any gd in myself at times...i'm just a veri troublesome n senile guy...i realli dun wan u to belittle yrself...i like the way u r, the way u look, just everything tt belongs to u Dear...

Thursday, August 17, 2006

I am too much...

Have I gone overboard with my words? I think I have... =( and I am 'reaping' the consequences now... Finally he has flared up... Either he is ignoring me cos he is damn angry with me or coincidentally his phone is out of battery... However, I think it is the former... sigh... damnit.. me and my freaking big mouth...

I hate myself!

Hiaz...

Hiaz...Kept doing a lot of wrong things...Why do i always managed to mess things up in the end...Went to pei dear go shop for watches which in the end i made her cry in the public...Gave her a surprise by waiting for her after her tuition but in the end, still managed to make her sad, disappointed n all...why??? Realli felt so so sad...i realli dun wan things to turn out this way...Seriously,my memory is realli failing me le...Always managed to forget this n forget tt...I realli dunno why this is happening...Things tt dear tell in the day, i can forget in the nite which makes her veri upset...Today i mixed things up n made everything worst...I realli dunno wat is happening to me le...I'm just like an old man, having senile...Its like i have to remind myself using my hp n its "to do function" to remind me things tt dear asked me to help her rmb...Things tt she like, dun like n allergy of i have stored it in my phone so tt i wont forget...other things in my life is the same too...forgetting to do this, forgetting to do tt...hiaz...

There's so many things i dun like doing n hope to just quit n free myself w more time but i cant...N there is 1 thing which i wont compromise n allocate lesser time to make myself freer which is to spend time w my dear...its like its not onli sth tt i'm doing for her but oso sth tt i love to do...its like she keep feeling tt she has been taking up a lot of my time, making myself more busy but the fact is, i chose to do all these, she din force me or anything...i realli dun like it when she keep pushing all my unhappiness, my prob to herself...i realli hate it...i realli hope she understand...
My Dear is realli veri unhappy, sad n disappointed now...Realli veri sad...Dunno wat i can do to make her go back to her cheerful self...It seemed like i'm making her sad n unhappy more n more frequently...i'm realli realli sorry Dear...i realli dunno wat to do now...

>.< ME >.<

urghh... so tiny is the size of my grace... >.<
Fancy making a mountain out of a molehill... >.<
Making him feel so bad... what is the point???? >.<
Petty + Ungracious + Grudging + Narrow-minded + Intolerant = Me

Feelings Equation

External comments = Despair and Dejection
Candy floss + Movie + JL =/= Popcorn + Movie + YY
Mistaken + Mixed up + Memory failing = Sadness + Discontent + Disgruntlement
=( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =( =(

Bad day

sigh... what can I say... this is really a bad day for me... bad bad day... =(

1) Putting on weight
2) Dear Dear

Shall not elaborate at all.

This is a bad day for me. Confidence and morale lowered. Disappointment. Upset. Only one word - BAD.

Period. =(

=( =( =(

half hour le.. I am still not able to slp.. somehow started having this inferior kinda feeling... sigh... =( donno why it started... donno why i am thinking this way... =(

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keep feeling that I am so lousy in my studies.. sigh.. yeah, not like im studying now.. but i just feel so.... arghh... =( super sian.. was listening to dear talking abt the former bballers and current bballers results, grades, CAP... was super impressed... *gasp* =0 nothing to say... all honours students, masters, etc... seems like the company that dear mixes with is good... esp in studies... well, gd for him la.. at least he can get some motivation and all.. Those results are seriously something that are out of my achievable boundary... first, i don have the brains.. second, i don have the memory, third, my results are always bad... nvr mind... hate this feeling of inferiority... =( =( =( irritating...
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feel damn fat and bloated... =( hate this feeling... nah... its nt a feeling... its a darn solid fact... sigh... =( *bleah*
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ARGHHH!!! inferior complex! =(

hurry hurry!

well well 5 more minutes and it is 1.30 am le.. oops... need to go slp soon.. if nt dear dear will scold le.. haha... =p

anyway, dear dear came to meet me after school today and we went to lot one for dinner and den we shopped around.. i was very gian for ktv.. however, did not go in the end cos i felt it was quite late le.. and we cant sing for very long.. and it was pretty expensive lor.. so we decided not to go... hee... so we went ard shopping instead... haha... =) in the end, i bought 2 lip glosses cos buy 1 get 1 free.. and den bought a braclet, a necklace, a hairband and a headband kinda thing.. keke.. worse rite? think i bought a lot of stuff lor... anyway dear dear bought a new bag... it is a leather one which we saw on monday but did not buy lor... hee... nice bag though...

well, on our way home, talked abt dear dear and his bball thingy... well, i think i was a bit too blunt and all.. but i thot since i was talking to dear, i should just say the truth lor... i think dear has so too much stuff to do le.. not very gd for him lor... and den he seems so stressed up and all.. he feels he did not do a gd job at all... but on the contrary, i think he tried his best le and he did quite a decent job... just that not much help was given to him... =( worse thing is that he has so much to do besides his bball lor.. he has his tuition and den FY stuff and den GE stuff (which he really don wan do!!! =( sigh.. )... den he also muz accom me in the midst of all these things... i seriously think he is overworked le... i also donno how i can help him... sigh... den he was lamenting that he had so much to do... that he always loses focus and have no time at all.. sigh.. felt that i was taking up too much of his time le... think i should just step back... but den dear dear wont hear of it... ~ but dear, i really dont want u to tire yourself out! You can just go ahead and do your things.. I'm fine with it yah...~ *hugz*


anyway great to be able to see dear today.. haha.. after one day of nt mtg... hmm.. guess its still our honeymoon period bah.. thats why super sweet like that.. keke... =p but of cos, hope that this is a honeymoon period that has no end.. haha... keke... shall hurry to bed le... ciaoz!!!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

reassurance from dear...

hmm... was talking to dear last night... then was telling him things like the fears that I have due to past r/p... I was saying that on one hand, I want to just give my all in the r/p but on the other, a practical aspect of me was telling me that I cannot put in all my feelings in case something would happen.. and den I would be totally saddened and hurt.. >.<>

dear dear also tried very hard to reassure me... hee... shall copy and paste wad he said... keke...

*meow * says:
Dear...I just wanna say i love u n i will love no one but u...its like i have told u b4, i'm someone who like stable n hate changes...i like the feeling of being w u, knowing tt i can trust u n we gonna have a future w 1 another...seriously, i have accustomed to u in my life alr n i dun wan to change...i onli wan u my dear...i love u n yr everything...i wont dun wan u de...
*meow * says:
on the contrast,i hope i can hold u even tighter...i realli dun like u to and wan u to stop thinking of all these stuffs but i dun think i can realli achieve it now...reali hope as time passes,i can make u reali believe tt we have a future together...Dear...trust my words hao ma...


hee... thanks dear... I do trust u okie.. muackz.. errmm.. hope u don mind me cutting and pasting okie! haha... ~ and now I just want to reassure you as well, my dear, I will also work hard for this r/p and we will have a future together okie... the pact that we made will come true in 2 years time.. When that time comes, I will be waiting for you to ..... heee... u knw la! keke... =p

*love you lots... hugs hugs*

hmm... missing you dear..

hee... i see that dear dear has put up the pictures of us... haha... some silly pictures indeed.. keke... sometimes we are like super crazy... just snap away... also don care wad we take.. haha... but it's fun... dear dear and i enjoy ourselves.. keke... =p

well, today dear dear went out with Chao & co... while i stayed back in school to do work... sianz.. think they watched two shows at his frenz hostel... hee... hope he enjoyed himself.. hehe...

hmmm... seriously, i am stunned at the realisation of how much I miss dear dear... hee.. so happy to just hear his voice and talk to him.. keke... ^_^

anyway, just to tell u dear dear... I love you lots and miss you all the time! *hugz hugz*

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Picts of My Dear n Me...=)


This pict is taken in JP's Long John Silver...Veri nice rite...both of us like it veri much...dear develop 2 copies of this pict n laminated it...having 1 in my wallet n the other in her card holder...hee...

This one is taken outside the lift of her block..

Both are taken on the 1st of Aug...cant rmb where we took it le...hee...we are just acting innocent in the first n being silly in the second...so stupid rite...oops...haha...






This 2 picts are taken at the Bishan Mrt Station...the first one looks real cool n artistic rite...lolz...


Monday, August 14, 2006

surprise from dear!

hehe.. dear dear surprised me this morning by turning up at my doorstep with breakfast... hee.. *thanks dear, that is really sweet of you... muackz muackz muackz* he knew that I was in a foul mood and so he decided to get up early and buy breakfast and send it right to me.. hee.. though i already told him to stay home and slp more and rest more.. cos starting school le... seriously, it is such small actions and sweet things that he does which really touches me and warms my heart... making me feel really blissful and happy... always bringing a smile to my face... It really brightened up my day... hehe... thanks dear once again! Love ya loads!

********************
then dear dear came to meet me in the evening.. as usual, he picked me up from school.. came right up to the staff room to look for me.. keke.. then we started crapping and all again.. haha.. think the two of us are fast becoming super crapsters (not that such a word exist!) lor.. keke.. especially in each other's company... *roll eyes.. think dear is the bad influence lor... hehe.. =p* then i think dear dear was super hungry lor.. starting rummaging my cupboard for biscuits and all... keke... so funny... lucky my area is a 'provision shop' ah... hehe.. helped to hold down his hunger for a while... hee...
then we went to lot one for sushi.. hee... ate at suki sushi.. hee... cos dear dear wanted to have sushi.. hee... well, nt bad la the food over there... hee... =) then after that we went to play bomberman again! wahahha... and guess wad, I lasted longer than dear dear again!!! *yay* hee... =p at first dear was so much better than me... but later.. muahahha.. i outlasted him! *smug look* don be sad okiez dear.. u can try again next time! don worry okiez... *smilez*
then we headed for home... bought some mochi ice-cream on my way home! hahahaha... *yummy* but den don dare eat too much also leh.. cos think will get very fat le wor.. sigh... sad sad sad... =( later fat le no one wants me ah!~!!! ahhhh!!! --_--
********************
having a super horrible tummy ache now.. feel like puking... eekkks... =( shall end le...

Sunday, August 13, 2006

our saturday!~

hee... dear dear and I went to watch the fireworks today! very nice! hehe... =) actually initial plan was to watch with QL and co.. but in the end, we were not able (read: quite lazy to...) to make it to the esplande in time for the fireworks.. hehe.. so we watched from marina square instead... hehe... also quite a nice view la.. except we were blocked by trees and some pillars.. but still it was a nice feeling to just stand there in dear dear's arms and watch the fireworks.. hehe...

********************

earlier in the afternn, we went to waterloo st to pray... well, been wanting to do that for a long time le.. but simply could not find the time to.. so well, finally made it there today.. hehe.. after that, we went to Bugis Junction to have our lunch... Then was quite full le... hehe... I had claypot rice while dear had curry mee.. both were quite yummy though.. then we made our way down to orchard instead.. went to robinsons to look for a card holder for me... hee.. cos both of us had robinsons voucher... but den couldnt find any one that i liked and in the end, guess wad... i ended buying clothes! haha... cos both dear dear and I liked the top very much.. hehe.. so we bought that instead... wahahahha... =p ... oopsies.. talk abt digressing.. hehe... but nm la... keke...

then we went to robinsons at raffles sc cos there were more variety there... then we managed to find this braun buffel (wadever the spelling la!) cardholder which i liked it very much.. hee.. and dear dear thought it was very nice as well.. so i bought there in the end.. and we finished up the vouchers le! hahaa... but oops.. i used up dear dear's vouchers as well... =(

then we went to comic mart cos dear dear wanted to look at his magic cards... then his expression was so cute lor.. when he was looking at one pack of cards and thinking if he should buy them.. thinking if it was worth it and all.. hehe... liked to look at him that way... hee... ^.^

then we went to marina square with the intention of looking for a bag for him.. but den couldnt find any leh... nothing that dear dear liked.. den it was time for the fireworks leh... hee... well, dear, we search for your bag again okie! *muackz*

********************
well, only sad thg was that we kinda had an arguement kinda thing... actually i started it.. i was unhappy with him... cos i felt as if he was taking out his unhappiness on me.. but actually i think he din la.. i was just being too sensitive lor... sigh.. that is the result of him being too nice to me le... oops.. sorry dear dear! *apologetic face* but then, we managed to iron things out in the end... and we made up.. hee.. not that we had a big quarrel or wad lah.. hehe.. but things turned out well in the end... thank goodness! *smile*
but i can say, with each arguement, dear and i get to know each other better... understand each other better... and know the feelings of each other better.. and also we come to realise how important we are to each other.. and also the care and concern and love we have for each other.. so yeah.. im happy abt that lor... in that sense.. though i wont hope to have quarrels every now and then lah... but well, sometimes, it cant be avoided... *fingers crossed*
********************
but overall, it was a great day... and dear dear and i had a great time! hee... looking forward to more of such fun days with u my love! *muackz muackz*




Saturday, August 12, 2006

cos of the sms.. =(

just reached home not long ago.. after having dinner with dear and his bball frenz.. thinking whether to meet them to watch the fireworks tmr... hee.. dear say maybe don wan go cos he say scared too hot and sweat a lot.. and den nd to go early.. he don really want.. but i think bottomline is he just scared that i grouchy cos will be too hot and that i will sweat... hee... he just don want me to be unhappy lor.. but seriously, i don mind la... as long as dear dear is there to enjoy the fireworks with me lor.. hee... =)

well, actually dear dear was not so happy when i first reached NUS to look for him... when i was talking to him on the phone, i could already sensed his unhappiness le.. but i really din knw the reason for that... den when i reached the court, he was like quite unhappy and blur... but i din knw the reason and he din say lor.. at first, he gave me a wrong impression.. that he was upset over the fact that JL brought her bf to the session... I was like 'super stunned'!!!!! I din knw wad to say lor... felt quite upset at that time too lor... =(

after that, realized that he was upset over the message i sent to him in the evening.. telling him abt the issue that i am worried things might change when we reach the next transition phase where he starts working, things might start to change.. for the better or worse.. it depends... then dear dear was quite upset about this.. cos he
felt that i din trust him at all after he had done so much reassuring.. but seriously, it wasnt that i don trust him lor.. it was more of a barrier of my own.. that i find it real hard to overcome.. im so sorry dear dear... i trust u mean wad u say.. every word of it... and i believe that our love and r/p will last and ocnquer all odds.. dear dear sent me some smses.. that made me seriously so happy.. i was smiling as i was readin them.. i could sense his sincerity and love... i was really touched! thanks dear! =)

hmm.. well, today i saw a very angry and pissed dear dear... but i think he was still controlling nt flaring up at me.. poor thing dear... so sorry my dear dear! =(

but anyway, i am glad that everythg turned out okie! and that dear is not unhappy with me le! hee... =)

I am still very happy and elated! cos my dear dear bought me the bag i loved! keke... and that he bought me the blue rose... hee... oh.. dear dear, i seriously don nd flowers at all occasions yah.. not even valentine's day.. don nd to spend ur money like this.. The most important thing that I can want from you is your love, care and love again! =)

super happy!

~ I am SOOOOO happy!!! ~
*GRINZ*
*smiling from ear to ear (till u cant see my eyes!)*

Dear dear bought me the bag that I wanted! It's so lovely!!!! I love it very very very very much!

Thank you dear dear! You are the sweetest!!!

*muackz and hugz*

Friday, August 11, 2006

3 great days spent w u...

Wow...3 full days spent w my dear dear...Realli enjoyed these 3 days for i cant be happier other than spending time w her...

080806 was our 1st month today, it was a great day for the both of us...I went to meet my dear at the sch she's teaching...meet a lot of her collegues n played bball w them in the end,i had lot more fun than i expected... hee...the onli bad part was i was playing in jeans...haha...my movements will be so restricted n all n the sweating will make everything worst...haha...but still, i enjoy so its okie...haha...i went dear's place to take a shower n slack a bit cos was a bit tired...after tt, we went to west mall to have dinner n oso buy tickets (click)... dear nds to go back home to help her parents n we decided to meet back at her hse at 10 plus as we are leaving for the movie at 11 plus (watching a 1140pm show)...reached her hse at 1015pm n its act the first time i am being formally intro to her parents, was realli nervous n dunno how to react n all...so pai seh lah...met her dad first,i was act waiting for dear to intro me to her dad but she was intending for me to intro myself...haha...so funny lah...i was like standing there dunno wat to do but in the end, i gathered my courage n intro myself...haha...din realli tok much to her dad oso...met her mum in her mum's bedroom next, cant chat much oso cos she was gg to bed soon...when i was leaving, i was sabo by dear lah, she suddenly say "mei li mao, why din say gd nite"...i was stunned lah...haha...naughty dear dear...shall have my revenge next time...we left for west mall at 1115pm n took the bus 947...stupid me, accidentally stepped onto dear's slipper n snapped it...in the end dear has to dragged her rite foot all the way, felt realli bad...hiaz...the show, click, is reali nice lah...i realli like the show n i'm glad i watched it w dear...we walked home after the show n i piggy bagged dear dear for a while as a punishment for snapping her slipper...hee...wanted to carry her ard more but she dun want, she dun wan to tired me out...act i'm prefectly okie one lor...i stayed at her hse for a while b4 heading back home...the moon was reali round n bright n i dragged dear out to her balcony to watch it...it was realli romatic n its realli a great feeling at tt time just looking into her eyes n having her by my side...i feel so happy n forunate to have u my love...For our 1st month, dear gave me a card, perfume n some photos...she realli spent a lot of time n money on tt n i reali like all of them...thank u my dear...
Met my dear back at her hse the next day as we are gg to alice's hse for a gathering...while waiting for her, i was chatting w her mum, her mum was reali friendly towards me, told me a lot of stuffs...hee hee...n noe wat, when we were abt to leave, she gave me n dear a polo raph tee each...same colour one somemore...haha...couple tee lah...act felt veri nervous today as its the first time we are gg out w the rest of the volunteers as couple,n as expected, they were making fun of us the whole day lah...haha...we spent most of the time preparing n cooking...was quite harsh towards dear at times when i asked her to step further away from the oil n such as i scare she gets hurt..so sorry leh dear...act was not feeling reali happy as she was quite close to one of the volunteers...act i noe from the start tt they were veri close le, just din expect tt i still feel veri weird n a bit jealous...she kept asking me thro out the day why i dun look gd but i din tell her for i dun wanna spoilt the day...told her in the end when i send her home...dear din realli wan me to send her home for the train passed by my home first n i shld just head home strai...seriously i still wanna ensure her safety, sending her home to her door step n this is one thing i wont compromise n change...Dear, it is precisely cos u r my dear tts why i making all this efforts...it is my duty n responsiblity okie...i dun think its troublesome too...it realli wonder me at times, its like we are always so worried abt one another, always thinking for one another n in the end, we will end up making each other unhappy...nonetheless, i'm glad in the end we always managed to resolve them...
today (100806), woke up early to send my dear dear breakfast to her door step...hee hee...today is her free day...yeah!!! after eating breakfast, we nua for realli quite some time lah...we like nua from 10 plus till 2 plus lor...win liao lah...haha...we left for bpp at 4 plus n ate sushi for out lunch cum dinner...haha...food there was realli cheap n nice...dunno why after eating, i was realli tired...so sorry to my dear as i like always yawning away looking tired when i go out w her...so so sorry...i sent her to her tuition b4 i head back home...wanted to send dear home after tuition but she insisted i go home for i was so tired le...dear dear is not feeling well n all now...i veri worried abt her...haiz..realli hope she will be better....
Time realli passes veri fast for the psat 3 days, its like b4 i knew it, the day is alr over...=( i realli hope i can spend more time with dear dear lah...n its like its always seemed not enough...Dear dear keep feeling tt she is a veri troublesome person n she's a jinx to me...just wanna tell u u r not okie, u r my happiness n life dear...u are like the air tt i breathe, i realli nd u in my life okie...pls dun think tt way hao ma...act i shld be the one feeling tt lor...dun seemed like i been taking gd care of u lah...Dear,i realli hope u wont feel stressed or watsoever in our r/n, i just wanna u feel loved onli...

Thursday, August 10, 2006

slack slack slack day!

Another slack day! haha... no school today.. i am sooo happy! keke... so had a gd slp.. at least i did.. hee.. dear dear gt up early to buy breakfast for me.. he bought porridge.. hee... nice nice... think im gg to get real fat lor.. keke.. with the way dear dear is looking atfer me... ooppss... that is not gd.. well, after breakfast, we slacked a while le den fell asleep again.. haha... then we 'nuan' all the way till 2 plus ah! impressive rite.. haha... den marked some stuff and den went out finally at 4 plus.. went to BPP cos i had tuition later at that area..

we had sushi for dinner... hee... quite nice la... actually like their desserts more than the mains... hee.. den we went to walk around... saw this top @ one of the stalls.. very nice... but then din buy.. still considering.. hee... donno if i should go get it or not leh... well.. see how la... quite gian also.. keke... well, forgot to collect tuition money from the kid.. sigh... din go and remind ah.. worse.. nm la.. next week lor.. =p

so sian lor... sigh.. so many things i wanna buy.. tsktsk... really bad ah... bag la.. clothes la.. sigh... cannot.. muz save muz save... =p

*bleah*

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

National Day!!!

Happy 41st Birthday, Singapore!!!!
hee.. today is 9th August 2006.. National Day! hee... =) well, will be gg over to Alice's place for a gathering... hee.. smethg like a house warming for her... hee... long awaited and actually delayed for very long le! oopss.. =p
anyway met dear dear ard 11am to take train over to Tampines to meet Alice and XX to buy the necessary ingredients and stuff... in the end, haha... we were late... cos of me.. keke... =p we reached tampines at ard 1220 and den went to NTUC to look for Alice.. She was choosing crabs when we arrived... den dear and I went over to get some prawns.. then we went ard to buy the other stuff... n i saw smethg! Kit Kat has dark chocolate kind!!! *wow* keke... was so tempted to buy.. but din do so... cos i felt it was too expensive... so although dear encouraged me to buy, i did not la... and lucky we did not buy.. cos alice said it costs 3 plus only when she bought it... and it was selling at 6 plus... scary ah!!! well, but it was nice lor.. keke... took alice's ones.. haha...
we reached alice's house ard 2 plus, i think.. den we started to prepare the food and all... dear dear was gg to cook his cereal prawns, while alice cooked her black pepper beef and crabs (black pepper and chilli)... hee... sounds gd and yummy eh? hehe... but den when i saw dear dear kill the crabs, i was quite xin tong la.. cos i think he hurt his hand in the process... =( then i cant seem to help much also.. could only stand one side and see..
at ard 4 plus, we started to cook the stuff... hee.. dear dear cooked his cereal prawns.. hee.. smells nice and tastes nice.. hee.. just that i wanted more cereal... hee.. cos the thing i like abt cereal prawns is the cereal... wahahha.. yum yum!! then they cooked the chilli crab and black pepper crab.. the sauce was gd man! hehe... i dipped bread with it! sooo nice! hee... then dear dear so poor thing.. nd to help me with the crabs.. then he was like so busy doing it for me den no time to do it for himself.. oopps... then XX and gang all start to 'suan' him lor.. the dumb papparazzi gang.. haha... worse!
but overall, it was a gd day! really enjoy the time with them... always very relaxed and comfortable.. hee.. =) and of cos it was great to be able to see my dear cook.. hee.. and taste his cereal prawns!! Yum Yum! keke... ~found a house husband le~ haha... =p hmm.. but bad thing is this house husband v stubborn one lor... so late le.. sure no mrt or bus le.. still insist want to send me home.. esp when we already pass by JE.. i told him to go back first and then talk to me on the phone till i get home but he don wan lor.. sigh.. stubborn dear dear... nothing i can say or do.. den he insist he wont compromise on this le... so well.. no choice...
*dear, thanks so much okie.. muackz.. really happy to be able to spend this national day with you.. hee.. *

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

8th August - Our First Month

Today is 8th August... It is our first month together.. hee.. Really happy and excited about it.. hee.. so well, this is wad happened today... =)

First I had to be in school for National Day celeb... so dear dear came to look for me in school... At first, I thought that we were gg off directly after the celeb.. so i told dear don nd to bring his bball shoes and clothes... in the end... haha... cos i wanted to play netball with the ladies... we decided to stay back... hee... den i told dear dear to join the guys for bball instead.. haha.. n indeed.. the temptation of the game was to much for dear dear to bear... hee... so he joined them in the game.. lucky he was wearing tee and sneakers.. if nt... think he don nd play le... haha... so well, he joined them... and i think he had fun... and one of them even came and told me that he wanted to sign him on... wahahaha... so funny.... good job dear! keke... =) think he can just drop by to join them in bball next time... hee... only problem is that the ball was a bit too small and that the basket was actually lower than std ones cos it's catering for primary school kids mah.. hee... and so apparently dear couldnt really shoot properly... haha.... but yeah... he was really fast... haha... always a joy to see dear dear play bball... keke... don mind just sitting there see u play lor dear... =p

Then after that cos we were both all hot and sweaty, esp dear dear.. we decided to just ta bao back to my house to eat... so that we can bathe and den go out... hee.. so yeah, we packed our lunch back... in the end, both of us were so slack and tired that we just ate and then had a nap in the afternoon... hehe... then we went to west mall at abt 5 plus to walk around and then buy movie tickets... hee... we went to play bomberman as well!!! wahahaha... and dear dear being his usual zhuai self was outta the game earlier than me!!!! kekeke.... *smug look* same thing went for time crisis... hee... *bleah* =p *winkz winkz*

Walked around west mall for a while... really liked this baby doll top very much... but felt it was wee bit too exp.. costs abt 26 after discount... donno if should get it or not.. sigh.. but really nice lor.. and i love the material also leh... so soft and all... :0 den also saw this bag at zinc... super nice lor!!! loved it soooo much.. liked the silver and the bronze-orange one... both colours are very unique.. hee... but i felt it was really bit too expensive... costs abt 39 after discount... bu she de buy it leh... sigh... =( muz think twice abt spending ah... cannot just buy at my whims and fancy ah... sigh... then we went into this boutique and i told dear there was a piece of clothing which i liked very much.. and well done to dear.. he got it correct at first guess!!!! WOW! hehe... clever dear dear... keke... but yeah... price again... 60 bucks for that piece! another bu she de lor!! sigh... =(

went back home to help dad and mum burn the papers for 7th month... then dear dear came over to my hse ard 10 plus.. hee... mtg my dad and mum for the first time... hahaha.... his turn le!!! wahahaha.... he was so scared that he forgot all his manners and all.. keke.. so cute... and funny! ~dear don worry okie...~ hee... *maybe i shall leave him to update on what really happened exactly!* hee.... then we went out ard 11 plus to go watch 'click'... it was a super funny show lor... but then it was a super duper funny show with meaning! it was not just abt plain jokes and laughter.. but rather it was abt family values.. the importance of kinship and family ties... really a show worth watching... NICE~~ kudos! at least there was something to take home after the show.. i really teared at the part where he chased his son and told him that family was more impt than work and money and then he died... *sniff sniff* so touching.. i couldnt help it... but overall, there was a happy ending to it!! hee... =) i like happy endings... keke...


hehe... well now comes the best part... keke... dear dear got me a card... and a photo collage... it is really very super duper sweet.. i love it a lot a lot.. a whole lot dear dear!!! hee.. thanks... dear dear purposely went to d/l photoshop to make this photo collage for me... hee... writing really sweet stuff on it... hee.. i loved it so much! hehe.. then he surprised me by suddenly sticking on my table.. hee... i was quite taken by surprise.. but i was really touched.. it was so nicely done! hehe... then dear also gave me a card... hehe... inside, he wrote lyrics of 6 songs.. (Forever Love and Ai4 De4 Jiu4 Shi4 Ni3 by Lee Hom; Xin1 You3 Du2 Zhong1 and Yao4 Zhi1 Dao4 Ni3 De4 Gan3 Jue2 by Daniel Chan; Zhi3 Dui4 Ni3 Shuo1 and Dou4 Jiang1 You2 Tiao1 by JJ Lin) He copied part of the lyrics by hand... so sweet of him.. and the drawing of the rose really impressed me! wow!!! keke... I really was very happy with my prezzie... hee...

well, and somehow or other... dear dear and I really seemed to have telepathy.. keke.. I gave him a perfume and some small photos which I developed and laminated... hee... I did not know which one he prefered or wanted.. so I just took my pick.. hee... then i also made a card for him.. pasting a photo in it and den writing and decorating it.. hehe... well, another thg was i also wrote a phrase from the song forever love in it.. haha.. so i was like laughing away when i saw the card.. hee...

anyway.. thank you dear dear! for all your efforts... love u soo much.. and i will always be looking forward to our next milestone one by one... *muacks n hugs* Happy First Month!~

Monday, August 07, 2006

1 more day!

* 1 more day to go *
hehe.. i am sooo excited... tmr is 8th August le!!! hee... a very special day... for dear dear and me... hee... *all smilez* keke... cant wait for the day to arrive... hehe... in less than 24 hours!!! oh no!!! i simply cant contain my excitement and happiness!! wahahaha....
* smilez *

Sunday, August 06, 2006

cranky me... =(

Got up late today to go to auntie's place... oopsies!! then also din manage to give dear dear morning call.. was late!! =( sorry dear... lucky dear managed to get up and was already in the shower when I tried to call him... hee... paiseh!!! =p

den got to auntie's place to realize that the irritating woman is there again!!! selling watches.. she speaks in a language that no one understands... worse!!!! haha... malay.. don sound like.. mandarin.. don sound like.. indian.. don sound like.. yucky! rojak like language.. worse than that i think... eeewwwww.... only one word to describe lor... IRRITATING!!!

anyway donno why was feeling pretty cranky in the afternoon.. i also donno wad sparked it.. sigh.. was feeling pretty upset.. but i tried to maintain an upbeat mood.. in order nt to upset dear dear and all.. but still i had a great time talking to dear dear lah... hee... and he went to cut his hair today... donno how he looks like leh.. hee.. cant wait to see him tmr when he comes over with breakfast... keke.. =)

hee.. den i was asking dear if i should just cut my hair short... wahahhaa... den he was like hmm.. strong objection?? hahaha.. is that how i should put it dear dear? keke... well, anyway i don really think i would want to change my hairstyle lah... maybe i would want to change the layering.. but den again.. i still considering leh.. cos if too layered v hard to tie my hair and all.. hmm... will think abt it and see how.. think in the end i will end up with just trimming my hair.. haha... =p

anyway today is the 6th!!! hee...

~ 2 more days to 8th August! ~

Just wanna tell u My Dear...

Dear...Noe tt a lot of stuffs have been running thro yr mind everyday, thinking of this n tt...Think yr past experinces still affect u greatly...Noe u are veri worried that i might leave u for someone else in the future...Dear, seriously if i can have the chance, i realli want u to be able to feel how i feel for u...To tell u how much how much u realli meant to me, how much i reali love u...I realli want to assure u tt watever u have been thinking is not possible at all...I realli hope tt u will have faith in our r/n n worry less...

I can say its not easy for us to be together n reaching the state we are in presently...I so happy that I have finally found u who is alr a part of my life, someone tt i cant do w/o n precisely becos i noe wats the feeling of losing sth impt, i wont let go of u...wont want to lost someone as precious as u My Dear...

Dear...Since i can love u so so much now, i seriously dun understand why i cant do so for as long as i can...I believe i can n i dun think i will allow myself or be able to fall for another gal...Its like I always feel veri comfortable n myself when together w u and its an amazing feeling for me...Its like i can crap n do all sorts of stupid things in front of u n not worrying tt it will spoilt my image...I like the feeling of being loved by u...
Sometimes, i realli veri worried n sadden by the tot tt u might leave me one day for u r too too impt to me le...I realli pray tt it wont come true at all...Dunno why i keep feeling this way, its like everytime i c his picts, i feel tt he is the kind of guy u looking for...Though i might look like someone who have veri high confidence in himself but act i'm not...Realli hope i can stop having the feeling n this stupid tot...sorry Dear Dear...
Dear Dear, I realli waiting for the day to come...I realli looking forward to the day u become my wife n we can spent each everyday w one another...Pls dun say tt i will be sick n tired of seeing u...I will say i will reach a stage tt i cant live w/o seeing u My Dear...I Love U...I realli do...

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Eat and eat! Wait and wait!

Just got home from my meetup with CY and co to celeb her bday.. hee.. we went to eat at the Chongqing Steamboat @ Suntec.. quite expensive ah... ended up we paid abt 36 bucks per person.. woah!!! ;0 was super full lor!!! but i don think we ate food worth that amt lor... think it is over-priced lah... can get beta food based on that amt of $$$... anyway went to NYDC @ Holland V after that... eat again.. wahhaaa... super fattening lor... die le!!! :(

Today had a great time with dear dear... hee.. he went to school with me early in the morning.. helped me mark my stuff and den accom me down to Bishan to the Scouts shop to return the tickets... that was the most screwed up one... took so long for them to take back and calculate and all.. some of the people returned in cash!!! goodness!!! din they knw they were supposed to either give cheque or receipt from the bank???? waited there for nearly 2 hrs... super pissed off le... think the system quite bad... need to feedback ah!! worse!!! den they said they only accept fully sold booklets and all... */?* super nonsense lor... they should go do some reflection... for the sake of their own admin, they discredit and at the same time discourage the scouts from selling the tickets... sian.. long story... sigh...

anyway after that, we went to a magic shop at Bishan.. haha... saw it when we were on our way to the scouts assn... hee... that was like the only gd thing that happened lor... hee.. glad that dear dear was able to see that shop... keke... =)

anyway, just wanna thanks dear dear for accomG me the whole day to do all those stuff... though he was so so so tired.. Thanks thanks dear dear... Love u loads! muacks! =) hee.. and dear dear was wearing the shirt I bought for him.. hee.. looked real gd.. hehe..

oh... dear dear also got to meet my best buddies... all 4 of them.. keke.. soo happy abt it.. hehe.. still gt cindy and david havent see only.. hehe.. shall ask them out to meet up soon.. keke.. =p

overall, great day minus away the scouts thingy... hee...

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Me and my stupid, silly, stubborn temper!

Everything started cos of my stupid, silly and stubborn temper... Petty me got upset over a trivial issue - his pte nick... =( When I saw that his pte nick was "Am I the one?", I started to wonder why did he put that nick.. when he told me the reason, I was really affected and I chose to ignore him... not wanting to talk to him till I have gotten myself back to normal.. In the end, I did not pick up his calls at all and I swtiched off my hp... He messaged me in msn, but I was not at my laptop.. so I did not see and did not answer... While later, I kinda felt a little bit better, though still pretty upset... so I picked up his call.. however, he was already very upset... angry or not, I have no idea.. but I can sense he was really unhappy...

He felt that my refusal to pick up the phone to talk to him made him really lost and he did not knw wad to do... The reason that he did not notice his pte nick was that was cos he was really busy... besides he had not logged on to his msn for very very very long le in that laptop... so he really did not know or notice... and guess what, he was busy cos he was actually doing smethg for me! sigh... he wanted to keep that a secret.. but he had to explain himself.. so in the end, he had to say it out... which greatly upset him... cos firstly, it spolit his element of surprise ... then another thing was that he was actually doing something for ME, and then he kinda got reprimanded and attitude from me! sigh... =( =( =( Also, he felt that me being affected by that means that he has not gained my trust at all... despite all the things he has done...

I'm really so sorry... I really donno wad to do... I seriously have no idea what to do... or even say... the reason why I was so affected was not cos I do not trust him... but on the contrary, he mattered too much to me le.. that was why I was affected.. if nt, why would I even bother to care what was in his personal nick... no pt... sigh.. but then yup.. maybe i should not have been that way... or gave him the attitude... serves me right... Why the hell did I get upset in the first place... If I had not... if I had given bit more thought.. things won't be this way now... *sobs*

He doesnt have to stand all this... He doesnt have to bear with my temper... I have a really bad bad bad terrible temper.. I admit that... There is no reason why anyone has to bear with it... I'm just impossible... All I can say is sorry.. but can it really help? sigh... =(

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Dear dear, u really don't have to bear with this... No, you do not... and you do not deserve it as well... =(

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Mum's Bday Celebration

Today (1st Aug) is my mum's 43 bday...Early in the morning we planned to go to have a family dinner to celebrate my mum's bday n my mum came instantly asking me whether am i bring a fren along...haa...Think my mum is dying to c dear...haa...Called dear to ask if she can make it n i glad tt she decided to come down even though it was a last min thingie n she wasn't prepared for it at all...
Went to fetch her from her sch n in the end today i met even more of her colleagues, was quite embrassed thro out as they were teasing her...dunno wat to do sia...haa...dear was wearing a long green shirt with a black top *i can say she reali look veri gd in it* hee...after packing some stuffs from her office, we headed down to toh guan coffee shop for the dinner...intro dear to my family when we reached there n i can c tt my mum was veri happy to c her...hee hee...after dinner, we went to buy some durians n headed back to my hse...First time dear visit my hse, din expect it so din tidy up my room at all n it look like shit lah...haa..oops...showed her to my messy room n told her where all my treasures*comics* are...haa...
I sent her back home at ard 10 plus after singing the bday song n eating a small portion of the cake...the journey back home was filled w laughters once again...haa...we were crapping n taking photos along the way...haa...*just love the time spending w my dear*
Great day i had today, finally intro dear to my whole family n i can tell that they like her a lot...Great start for the both of us...yeah!!! Hope it will be the same for me when i meet her parents... nervous whenever i think abt it...

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

hmm... hee... MTP session!

hee... well well... 1st August.. keke.. first time I met dear dear's whole family... hee.. really nervous and worried... scared err... they don't like me.. this and that kinda thing.. hee.. but hopefully things turned out fine...

anyway it was a pretty last minute thing... cos actually today supposed to meet PS to go ktv, but then i felt that it was too far... so i decided not to go and join her... den dear dear's tuition also cancelled cos the child was sick.. so he called me and told me it was his mother's birthday and den they were gg out for dinner and asked me to join them.. *stunned and happy and frightened and stressed* hee... then i got kinda kan jiong liao... hee.. anyway dear dear went to buy a birthday prezzie for his mum.. =)

dear dear's family members are pretty easy going... hee.. we had dinner together and then went to dear dear's house to eat durian and then cake!!! *bloated* was so so so full.. haha... then dear dear sent me home le..

well, in conclusion, i had a great time actually ... just seriously hope that i left a gd impression bah... hee... =)

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Hee... tmr dear dear is coming in the morning.. he is buying breakfast for me... !!! YAY!!! *grinz* so happy.. always very happy when dear dear comes and look for me... hee... and best thing is tmr's remedial cancelled and I don nd go to school so early le.... wahaha.... super elated!!! =p
was just telling dear dear today that it would be so nice to have him ard 24/7... hee... but scared he would be bored of me... haha... but well, dear dear, like his usual self, started to say things like of cos he wont be bored of me and all... so nice of dear dear... keke... thanks dear dear...
so well all in all.. today was quite ok... nt too bad la... hee... shall look forward to tomorrow le!! =)

abt yesterday and today..

woke up super early today.. cos nd to come to school for P1 registration duty... ;p anyway, its over le.. hee.. now having break... hee... but soon in abt an hour's time, nd to go for lessons already... sigh... nm... shall perserve till the end of the day.. haha...

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anyway PS got selected for the audition to be a student for the ... errr.. i forgot the name of the school le.. haha.. the one that JJ Lin Junjie graduated from... music school... anyway i did not send in my application... cos was too lazy and gt no photos.. haha... sad... well, anyway i'm happy for her.. hope that she will be able to get through.. hee.. she very nervous abt which song to sing.. hee... ;p good luck to her!

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anyway, dear dear still came to my school yesterday... and he was so fast... haha.. before i even got to step into my staff room and well, yeah, i could not push him away or wad mah... den when i see him, i also cant get angry with him or anythg le.. sigh... so we went to Lot 1... to watch movie.. and had dinner @ the foodcourt... hee.. then we were trying to figure out the sudoko thingy.. haha... and i had my own method of finding the missing no while he had his own method of finding the no... hee.. but his method is really not bad ah.. haha.. quite fast and systematic in a sense.. ;p
also made some stickers and a chop.. hee.. all dalmations one... wahahah... so happy.. was grinning from ear to ear ah... hahaha... and its quite reasonably priced... made a chop with my name, and stickers with my name and another with me and dear dear's chinese name... haha... nice nice... keke.. =)
well, went to watch Lake House last night... got a free ticket from lakshmi.. hee.. felt that it was not bad... quite nice.. hee...quite sweet but think it is different from the korean version... not too sure how different la cos i din watch that... but anyway just felt that ending was happy, but a bit slipshod la... *shrugs* but overall i like the show.. think it is really not bad la...hee... *smiles* =) maybe i should watch the korean version also.. haha... then went back home at 12 plus... was so tired when i was home... while dear dear headed for zim's house to meet the guys...
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well, anyway talked with dear dear.. he told me not to make decisions on my own.. especially those of meeting each other one.. ^_^
think the two of us are just really alike in some sense... as in we really care abt each other and always think of each other's interests first.. thats why in the end tend to have these arguements abt this and that.. but when we think back, ultimately, we know that the chu fa dian is actually cos we really do care for each other... hmm... talk abt the ironies of life... *bleah* =p
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well, just wan let dear dear knw that he is very important in my life... and he is a part of my life le.. love him loads... and always... muackz!!

~ Chester ~

    Full-Time Bliss's Dear Dear
    NUS Undergrad
    Full-Time Volunteer
    Loves Bliss dear, our hamsters, bball, magic and sleep!!!
~ Bliss ~
    Full-Time Chester's Dear Dear
    Children's Nemesis
    Part-Time Volunteer
    Loves Chester dear, our hamsters, jewellery making, bags clothes, all things nice!!!

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