Saturday, August 19, 2006
Yesterday... continued
*continuation*
After leaving the crowd, we went to take 188... kinda talked it out on the way.. dear dear kept reassuring me that I was not useless and he really don wan me to put myself down and always put the blame on myself... well, seriously, I have an internal locus of control in this sense.. wrong things I tend to attribute to myself... and dear dear don like that... sorry! =0
well, then the situation became better... and though we were not totally back to our usual selves.. we were nearly there le... much happier than we were abt an hour ago... =) =) =)
hee.. then we went to Mac near my house for dinner... cos we din want to go far also.. den after dinner, we made our way to my house... hee.. so tht i can squeeze dear dear's blackheads and all! hahahaha... *evil laughter* found out that AXN was showing Identity! nice show... den I asked dear dear to watch... hee... a big twist at the back... hehehe... great show I think.. keke... =p den i also proceeded to do my job... keke... muahahah... somehow, dear dear managed to kinda fall asleep time to time in the midst of his face being attacked! oopsies... =p
dear dear and I started to talk in the middle of the night... started to talk abt all that happened and what we must do and all... kinda thrash things out... but nicely.. den i also told dear what I thought too... Sometimes, I just hate to feel so useless abt being unable to help him... he seems to have so much stuff to do and so lil time yet he insists on spending free time with me... I don like him so tired out and stressed out... sigh... we talked abt everything... big and small... what i thought, what he thought... what i felt.. what he felt... but all in a peaceful way...
all i want is to be able to help u when i can... alleviate whatever is possible.. and let u be happy... i just hope u can be happy, dear... just like u like the cheerful dear, same here for me... we always feel what each other feel... isnt it? =)
then suddenly dear dear asked me a qns... What would I do if one day he is really angry? ... I was stumped... lost for words... I told him I would go and find him... and I asked him what he would do if he really is very angry... he said he would either slp the night away or go for a swim.. I was really sad... I knew there would be this day where my bad temper and stubborness would lead to him being super angry... i asked dear dear to muz forgive me no matter how angry he was.. he said he would but i muz let him cool down first... somehow, my whole heart sank... really sank.. and tears just flowed out uncontrollably... think its one of the worse dear dear has seen... =( I was so scared... so scared that he would just shut himself away and I cant find him at all... I did not want that to happen.. I don want to not be able to find him at all.. i was seriously gripped by fear... I only managed to ask dear den where am I supposed to find him? I really din knw.. I felt so helpless... =( think i stunned dear... and made him real sad as well... *sorry my dear... really sorry.. i was really just very frightened*
I really hope I can try to control my temper.. sigh.. really wont want to make dear dear so angry.. just want to live a blissful and happy life with dear dear...
but it was all sweetness after that.. and I am happy.. =) its a really nice feeling to be with dear dear... to be in his arms... though both of us were tired le, we still kept ourselves awake.. hee.. just to talk and enjoy the sweet moments.. Thanks dear...
Just want to let you knw, my dear... I'm really sorry for all the things I have done wrong.. I cant undo them now.. but I will try to improve okay.. I will not walk away from you darling.. really... I cant bear to seriously... Besides, how to walk away from someone who is a part of my life right.. =) I will always be ur listening ear.. my shoulder will always be there for you... and I will always be there to lend you a hand or give you a push... Morally, you will always have my support... I will be ur pillar of support for as long as you want dear dear... okay? Love you so so so much... Really do.. You are everything that matters to me... You matter a whole whole lot to me.. Muackz~ Rembr, you and I share a positive r/p --> ur happiness + ; mine will + as well.. vice-versa.. *winkz winkz*
After leaving the crowd, we went to take 188... kinda talked it out on the way.. dear dear kept reassuring me that I was not useless and he really don wan me to put myself down and always put the blame on myself... well, seriously, I have an internal locus of control in this sense.. wrong things I tend to attribute to myself... and dear dear don like that... sorry! =0
well, then the situation became better... and though we were not totally back to our usual selves.. we were nearly there le... much happier than we were abt an hour ago... =) =) =)
hee.. then we went to Mac near my house for dinner... cos we din want to go far also.. den after dinner, we made our way to my house... hee.. so tht i can squeeze dear dear's blackheads and all! hahahaha... *evil laughter* found out that AXN was showing Identity! nice show... den I asked dear dear to watch... hee... a big twist at the back... hehehe... great show I think.. keke... =p den i also proceeded to do my job... keke... muahahah... somehow, dear dear managed to kinda fall asleep time to time in the midst of his face being attacked! oopsies... =p
dear dear and I started to talk in the middle of the night... started to talk abt all that happened and what we must do and all... kinda thrash things out... but nicely.. den i also told dear what I thought too... Sometimes, I just hate to feel so useless abt being unable to help him... he seems to have so much stuff to do and so lil time yet he insists on spending free time with me... I don like him so tired out and stressed out... sigh... we talked abt everything... big and small... what i thought, what he thought... what i felt.. what he felt... but all in a peaceful way...
all i want is to be able to help u when i can... alleviate whatever is possible.. and let u be happy... i just hope u can be happy, dear... just like u like the cheerful dear, same here for me... we always feel what each other feel... isnt it? =)
then suddenly dear dear asked me a qns... What would I do if one day he is really angry? ... I was stumped... lost for words... I told him I would go and find him... and I asked him what he would do if he really is very angry... he said he would either slp the night away or go for a swim.. I was really sad... I knew there would be this day where my bad temper and stubborness would lead to him being super angry... i asked dear dear to muz forgive me no matter how angry he was.. he said he would but i muz let him cool down first... somehow, my whole heart sank... really sank.. and tears just flowed out uncontrollably... think its one of the worse dear dear has seen... =( I was so scared... so scared that he would just shut himself away and I cant find him at all... I did not want that to happen.. I don want to not be able to find him at all.. i was seriously gripped by fear... I only managed to ask dear den where am I supposed to find him? I really din knw.. I felt so helpless... =( think i stunned dear... and made him real sad as well... *sorry my dear... really sorry.. i was really just very frightened*
I really hope I can try to control my temper.. sigh.. really wont want to make dear dear so angry.. just want to live a blissful and happy life with dear dear...
but it was all sweetness after that.. and I am happy.. =) its a really nice feeling to be with dear dear... to be in his arms... though both of us were tired le, we still kept ourselves awake.. hee.. just to talk and enjoy the sweet moments.. Thanks dear...
Just want to let you knw, my dear... I'm really sorry for all the things I have done wrong.. I cant undo them now.. but I will try to improve okay.. I will not walk away from you darling.. really... I cant bear to seriously... Besides, how to walk away from someone who is a part of my life right.. =) I will always be ur listening ear.. my shoulder will always be there for you... and I will always be there to lend you a hand or give you a push... Morally, you will always have my support... I will be ur pillar of support for as long as you want dear dear... okay? Love you so so so much... Really do.. You are everything that matters to me... You matter a whole whole lot to me.. Muackz~ Rembr, you and I share a positive r/p --> ur happiness + ; mine will + as well.. vice-versa.. *winkz winkz*
