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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

My attachment is coming to an end soon...last week alr...initially tot that i can get to have some rest for 2 weeks b4 sch reopen but i dun think i can have the luxury a nt...may have to start on my fyp alr...hiaz...think i have chose a wrong fyp...quite sucky now...veri unsure of wat to do...there are 2 choices for me to do for fyp, proj one i have to do alone with all the mechanical, electrical and computering aspects to do while proj two, i scare that i not being able to contribute much to the proj as there are a few Mechanical students and engineer working together...my main prof seemed to be more interested in proj two...hiaz...



anyway, yeah...last week was reali interesting...Dear got to drive her dad's new car...she had her test drive on thursday nite for an hour lor...drive here and there n to nowhere...haa...she came to fetch me from my tuition on fri oso...so sweet lah...so scare at times when she's driving alone not cos she dunno how to drive but cos of other drivers...several times we had encountered reckless drivers who dun reali care for others safety on the road...why cant they be more careful and considerate! anyway, so far so gd and think Dear is getting better and better at driving and parking...yeah!!!

Monday, July 23, 2007

hmm.. I can feel that my dear is quite stressed over his FYP, especially after his meeting with the prof today. According to him, the Prof is a super fierce person, who seems very demanding and not very nice. And apparently, it is going to be a totally different projec that he needs to undertake. Oh dear. But oh well, I guess he wil have to take it as a learning experience under a different kind of boss. Hehe... =) Jia you my dear, I will support you dear. All the way as long as it takes. =)


Well, it had been quite a memorable weekend for dear and myself. My dad got his car on Thursday and I was able to take the car and drive out. Haha... On Friday, I drove to Boon Lay to pick dear up from his tuition. Hee... One person! I was so excited yet nervous! Haha! =p Think I have gained more confidence and experience with the past few driving experiences. Yesterday was the best. I travelled from the West to the East and then to the North again and back to the West. Haha... I am so impressed. Keke... Well, have to improve on my parking. Think I really suck at that. Well, and also control of speed. =)

Well, tired... and not in a really good mood. Going to sleep soon. Updates again. Oh yah, many thanks to my darling dear who entertained me with MJ and shopping at Charles and Keith. Hee... Thanks for letting me buy the shoes darling! Love you loads. And I really meant all that I said yesterday night. Can't lose you. Not at all. You are too important to me.

P.S My car has an audio speedometer (Read: My dear is an audio speedometer.)


Thursday, July 19, 2007

Hmm.. This blog is seemingly become really lonely. I seem to be the only one who is blogging and much to my own despair, there are only sad blogs these few days! Sigh... Gotta cheer this place up a little. I wonder how?

Anyway, my dad is getting the car today. I am so happy. Maybe, finally, I can get to drive! Yeah! Hahahaha.... =p

Can't wait but of cos I would need to brush up my skills a bit more before I can get to really drive and all.. especially for my parking! hehe!

Anywaym, more updates soon! From not only me, I hope. *winks*

I know I seem kinda crazy lately. Thinking a lot, especially about all the unhappy things. Seriously, I have no idea why am I doing all these things. I can be happy one moment and the next moment, I will just become unhappy and break down. Sigh. What on earth?!? I also do not understand my own behaviour. This is scary to a certain extent. I seem to be indulging in unhappiness and hurt. =/ Crazy? Maniac? Tell me about it. Sigh.

I wish I can keep everything to myself and not make others unhappy. But sometimes, I just cannot control. I am not a robot. I have feelings. Be strong, I tell myself. Look forward, forget about the past, I should not let it affect me anymore. I keep repeating all these to myself, but somehow they do not seem to register. I just keep getting bothered by it. I just cannot seem to let go.

Dear is really being very tolerant and he is really trying very hard to help me. He really is very patient and sweet. He tries to do whatever I wish to do to help me destress and cheer up. He brings me to KTV, shopping, etc... Anything that he feels will make me happier. He wants me to sleep earlier at night so that my thoughts will not run wild. I guess I bring him to his wits end at times too. Sigh. =( He just wants me to be happy. So do I. Cos I know if I am happy, he will be happy too. So I have to try to cheer up. Bliss!! You have to jia you!

Despite everything, I learn that my love for dear has only been increasing more and more. I love him more and more. I need him as the days go by. I cannot lose him as time moves on. He is part of my life, part of me. He is a piece of me, an essential piece. My heart ached as I thought of the past. My heart ached when I read, with everything being so vivid. My heart just ached so much. I was overwhelmed. By sadness and jealousy. By unhappiness and jealousy again. I was jealous of the things he had done. I was jealous of his sweet actions and love. I was jealous of his thoughtfulness. I was jealous of everything. That was all in the past. I am jealous of his past. A past, which to dear, is not important at all. A past, which he rather not have so as to not affect me. A past which he does not want to anymore.

Sigh. Why do I have to make things so confusing? Why do I have to make things so hard on myself?

May tomorrow be a better day! =)

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Trying...

But to no avail.


I am trying. I really am trying. I am trying really hard. But sometimes, my will just loses to my insanity.


What am I to do?


Sigh.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

I am so so so affected today.
By the past.
It gets worse at night.
When memories come to haunt me.
And I fall back into the world of pain again.

Kinda in a bad mood these few days... been kinda unhappy and getting sad easily... =( I wish I had a reason as to why I am in such a bad mood recently... Is it cos I am stressed out and burnt out? Is it cos I am thinking too much? Maybe both... Guess things haven't been going as well as I hoped they would... Really quite tired... mentally, physically, what have you... =/

Sometimes, I just wish that I could stop thinking. But that is not possible. I feel so tired having to entertain myself with happy thoughts so that I would cheer up. I feel really so tired, especially at night.

I know I am so full of contradictions. I seem to be torn apart by myself. Why do I make life so difficult for myself? Sigh...

At work, there seems to be so much things to be done, yet so little time. And with all the competition around, it just seems so hard to do things properly. There is simply no room for errors. I also do not want to have errors. But sometimes, I also have no idea of what to do. =( I am really super tired. I used to love going to work. But now, I actually said that I dread going. I fear going to work. I am so scared and frightened. Ask me if everything's fine at work and I answer 'ok!'. That is a lie. A white lie though. To reduce worries. I do want to try my best. I am trying my best. How far can I go? How much can I take? Sigh.

I do not ask for it. But memories are somehow retained in this stubborn brain of mine... in the undeletable memory space of mine. I wish I was a computer. All I need is a click of the keyboard and there goes the unnecessary. The unnecessary memories of the past. His and mine. I simply cannot take it away. Both brings about different things. His - a mixture of jealousy, unhappiness, and more jealousy and more unhappiness and some insecurity. I do not know why though. Mine - a mixture of insecurity, unhappiness, fear, wild thoughts, and more insecurity and more fear. Seriously, I wish I suffer from amnesia. Maybe I would not be in such agony then. I want to forget the past. Forget about the past between him and her. Forget about the other him as well. But know something, the one that affects me more is the past of him and her, more than the past of him and me. I know too much. Can someone give me amnesia please. Just let me forget. Sigh.

What am I to do. I really do not want to be so unhappy. I am so tired. That aside, I feel as if I might be stressing him. Somehow, I feel as if my materialism is surfacing more and more. It is like I am becoming more materialistic. I want more expensive things and all. I look forward to having someone pay my stuff. =( Sigh. I become envious of others. and I start to think. and I get sad. I start compare and all. I start to hope. All these then become unneccsary burden to him.

Sigh. I really have no idea as to what I can do. =(

I am soooooo tired! Can I just give up?

*help*

Sunday, July 15, 2007

A song that I would like to dedicate to my dear... =) With all my love, my dear... Love you always... =)
~ This I Promise You ~
When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and liesI'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call,
Was standing here all along..
And I will takeYou in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you
I've loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never...
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my wordI give you my heart (give you my heart)
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun...
Just close your eyes (close your eyes)
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you..
This I promise you..
Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn't be living at all...
And I will take (I will take you in my arms)
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you baby
Just close your eyes
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you...

Thursday, July 12, 2007

hee... thanks for dear's sweet post... of posting our lovely weekends... hehe... will update the pictures soon... of the sweet little monopoly he gave me.. hee.... and of the puzzle i made for him... =)

Also there will be pictures of my bumblebee! it is found! YEAH! =)

Btw dear, just want to tell you that it's great to have walked till here with you... awaiting to further the distance... love u loads! =)

Monday, July 09, 2007

First Anniversary W Bao

080707
Big day both bao and me.Its our first year anniversary.Time reali seemed to have fly for the past one year. Lots of things had happened. Shared both happy times and sad times with bao bao. For the past few nights, been doing up the gift for her. Doing up a mini board game that will include most of the shows we had watched together and the things we had experienced. Tt being the reason for the lack of slp. Haa. Hmmz. Wat was the first thing we did for this first anniversary…. We went to watch “Transformer”. A superb show to watch man. Both me and bao enjoyed it a lot and now she’s in love with the transformer, Bumblebee. Haa. After the show, we went back to her house where we exchanged gift. Hee. Bao did up a 1000 puzzle for me. First time some one did a puzzle for me lor. =) . Besides that ,got a card and 2 cute tiles. On each tile, there’s half a heart which combining the 2 tile will then give u the complete heart. Cute!!! thanks dear. Gave bao the present oso, initially she was looking at it with a puzzle look. Like dunno wat it was. Haa. So funny. Then I explained to her a bit abt how the game goes. Basically the board game setting is similar to that of the monopoly, just that the boxes are all replaced by movie posters. The objective of the game is for me to land in the same box as bao. Bought a mini cat and dog character which represent both me and bao respectively. Haa. We started playing the game. Bao was quite amused by the whole game in general. Haa. We did all these in the middle of the nite, we slept at ard 4 plus that nite. Nd to catch some rest cos we gg orchard in the afternoon. Bao wanna go to shop shop at the mango sale. Haa. Long long time since she last shopped there le.
On the following afternoon, we reach orchard at ard 3 plus. A bit late, haa, I din managed to wake until 11 plus. Haa. Lazy me. We went strai to Mango and bao spent like an hour plus there. Saw lots of clothes and bags that attracted her but she onli bought some of them. She din wan to spend too much money there oso. After the Mango sale, we started our search for the transformer figurine, Bumblebee. So sad, we search high and low for it but still cant find it. Think everyone is buying it oso. Bao was quiet sad abt it. Will try my best to look for it again. =)
In the evening, we decided to go to Bukit Panjang Plaza, the first place we went to walk on the first day we got together oso. So memorable. Haa. Have dinner at cartel. Service was quite bad there though but overall, me and bao had fun there. Hee. Went back home after that.
Seriously, I’m so glad to have reach a milestone with bao. More will come I believe! Hee. I’m stuck to bao alr, as she has been saying. Haa. =)

080707
Big day both bao and me.Its our first year anniversary.Time reali seemed to have fly for the past one year. Lots of things had happened. Shared both happy times and sad times with bao bao. For the past few nights, been doing up the gift for her. Doing up a mini board game that will include most of the shows we had watched together and the things we had experienced. Tt being the reason for the lack of slp. Haa. Hmmz. Wat was the first thing we did for this first anniversary…. We went to watch “Transformer”. A superb show to watch man. Both me and bao enjoyed it a lot and now she’s in love with the transformer, Bumblebee. Haa. After the show, we went back to her house where we exchanged gift. Hee. Bao did up a 1000 puzzle for me. First time some one did a puzzle for me lor. =) . Besides that ,got a card and 2 cute tiles. On each tile, there’s half a heart which combining the 2 tile will then give u the complete heart. Cute!!! thanks dear. Gave bao the present oso, initially she was looking at it with a puzzle look. Like dunno wat it was. Haa. So funny. Then I explained to her a bit abt how the game goes. Basically the board game setting is similar to that of the monopoly, just that the boxes are all replaced by movie posters. The objective of the game is for me to land in the same box as bao. Bought a mini cat and dog character which represent both me and bao respectively. Haa. We started playing the game. Bao was quite amused by the whole game in general. Haa. We did all these in the middle of the nite, we slept at ard 4 plus that nite. Nd to catch some rest cos we gg orchard in the afternoon. Bao wanna go to shop shop at the mango sale. Haa. Long long time since she last shopped there le.
On the following afternoon, we reach orchard at ard 3 plus. A bit late, haa, I din managed to wake until 11 plus. Haa. Lazy me. We went strai to Mango and bao spent like an hour plus there. Saw lots of clothes and bags that attracted her but she onli bought some of them. She din wan to spend too much money there oso. After the Mango sale, we started our search for the transformer figurine, Bumblebee. So sad, we search high and low for it but still cant find it. Think everyone is buying it oso. Bao was quiet sad abt it. Will try my best to look for it again. =)
In the evening, we decided to go to Bukit Panjang Plaza, the first place we went to walk on the first day we got together oso. So memorable. Haa. Have dinner at cartel. Service was quite bad there though but overall, me and bao had fun there. Hee. Went back home after that.
Seriously, I’m so glad to have reach a milestone with bao. More will come I believe! Hee. I’m stuck to bao alr, as she has been saying. Haa. =)

Friday, July 06, 2007

Counting Down!!!

*2 more days to go!!!*
*hee hee*

Thursday, July 05, 2007

countdown..

*3 more days*
*smiles*

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Countdown
*4 more days*
*excited*

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Jigsaws! The new 'in' thing in dear and my lives! Hehe... =) Just yesterday, dear and I went to JP Jigsaw World and bought 200 bucks worth of puzzles and frames. It started with us having to get a birthday present for my mother and we started to buy more and then accumulated to 200 bucks so that we could get the lifetime membership as well! Haha... =) We also bought this 2000 pieces puzzle, which actually dear and I have no idea when we are going to do it.. but we have decided that puzzles are going to be part of the decorative items for our 'leisure' room for our future house. Hee... =) So exciting right? =p In addition, we also bought the anniversary series puzzle where we can put our photographs. So we have decided that we will take a picture this Sunday and put it in the puzzle! =) First anniversary. We shall have one for each anniversary! =)*yeah* *smiles*

Well, when we are both free, time for us to stat to get on to do our puzzles! =) Hehehe....

Dear and I were just thinking where should we go for the December vacation... Well, I was thinking of going places like Thailand but think dear would not want due to budget constraint... Well, actually I also considered Genting cos I really like that place, but I also don wan go there cos of the cold weather and also cos there would be tons of people there.. Sigh... dilemma! =( Anyway, we still have time to consider.. hehe... =)

Anyway, I still have loads of things to clear. Sigh.. =( Whatever... Think about this Sunday... about what dear and I are going to plan.. hee... oh, not to forget, Dear has promised to take me to Mango sale on Saturday! =) *yeah* *cheers*

Last of all.......
5 more days to go!

Monday, July 02, 2007

well well well... have not been blogging for a really long time.. and the same goes for my dear... =( hehe... anyway, school just started and the week is super damn hectic... choking to death... super bogged down by all the stuff that is going on...

Anyway, I have survived.. the first week at least.. hehe... today is a holiday... so here I am rotting at home and blogging... hee...

Hmm... in a week's time, it will be our first year anniversary.. how exciting... keke... I am so looking forward to it... of cos, I have already received my gift, which is my darling hp.. but I have not gotten anything for dear leh... sigh... still thinking of what I should buy for him though... hmm... prefer to get him something useful but he hasnt thought of anything as yet... sigh... well, have to keep on searching bah.... been really into jigsaw puzzle lately.. hehe... bought one which dear and i really like but havent open it to do it yet.. hehe... cos waiting for the right time... and den was thinking of getting another one for mummy's birthday... hehe... but still considering lah... keke... also have no idea which one is nice.. and still thinking where can we put up for mummy... haha... or thinking if I should just give her a red packet... hmm.... but feels bored...

Well, I have to get back to clearing some work now if I ever want to go out later... hehe... thinking of heading for Mango sale.. which I have not been to at all for so long... missed the previous one and this one also havent go... went town on sat.. but that day was kinda quarrelling with dear and he wasnt so happy... so did not dare to suggest that i want to go there...

Oh, just wanna say sorry again dear... I really understand how you feel.. but sometimes, I am also stuck in the middle... sorry...

Oh *2, to send our congrats to Zim and Key! hehe.... =) They are engaged! =) *applause* *cheers*Blesssings to this sweet couple! =)

~ Chester ~

    Full-Time Bliss's Dear Dear
    NUS Undergrad
    Full-Time Volunteer
    Loves Bliss dear, our hamsters, bball, magic and sleep!!!
~ Bliss ~
    Full-Time Chester's Dear Dear
    Children's Nemesis
    Part-Time Volunteer
    Loves Chester dear, our hamsters, jewellery making, bags clothes, all things nice!!!

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